I just figured this story out! Hit the jump to read it!
A Quest of utmost importance.
You wake up in a drug fueled haze on the middle of the 5:07 train home from work. A small rotund lady looks at you as though you've been scooping out the eyes of several small childr-
Wait what is this? Where am I?
I'm sorry, I don't understand your syntax.
You wake up in a drug fueled haze on the middle of the 5:07 train home from work. A small rotund lady looks at you as though you've been scooping out the eyes of several small children, your bag is sitting next to you, taking up an entire seat. This is probably why.
The train is currently at Central Station. Exits are to the east and west, through to the next carriages and to the north, through the door. The north exit is closing.
I'm still not sure what the fuck is going on - how am I hearing you?
I'm sorry, I don't understand your syntax - please try prompting a different command. Examples include "Go DIRECTION", "Use OBJECT", or "Look at THING"
I knew I shouldn't have taken those pills my boss gave me.
I'm sorry, I don't understand your sy-
I get it! Shit!
I'm sorry, I don't understan-
GO NORTH!
The northern exit is now closed. The train has started moving.
Alright, Look at FAT HAG.
The rather rotund lady looks at you and seems shocked that you'd say such a thing! She carries a small floral-print umbrella and an equally garish handbag. Her makeup is but a mere shadow of itself, after spending the entire day wiping her face free of sweat. She takes a step back from you as if getting ready to attack.
The FAT HAG asks you to move your bag, to free a seat up for her.
I want to get out.
Exits are to the east and west.
Go east, I guess.
You get up and move towards the EASTERN CARRIAGE DO-
Pick up my bag.
You walk back to retrieve your bag, causing the FAT HAG to break out in a sweat. You have gained one point of aggression. You leave the train carriage through the EASTERN CARRIAGE DOOR.
You are now in the MIDDLE CARRIAGE. People are looking at you with disgusted looks on their faces. Exits are to the South, East and West.
Wait, why are people looking at me like that? Look at self.
You could cut a pretty attractive figure right now, but only with the large machete in your right hand. You are covered head to toe in an unknown variety of feces. It doesn't seem to be human.
What. The. Fuck?
I'm sorry, I don't understand your syntax.
Why am I covered in feces?
I'm sorry, that happened before my time.
WHO ARE YOU?
I am the narrator, I'm here to help you get further along in your own QUEST FOR GREATNESS.
It's not going so well right now.
I was promised a better candidate, but we can work through this.
Alright, do you have any sort of hints for me?
All I can suggest is that you check your bag!
Right! I don't remember taking a bag to work, whose is this?
Hello?
Sorry! I was sleeping!
I have no idea who that bag belongs to, but I think you should check it.
I'll do it later - can I still get off the train?
Exits are to the north, east and west.
Go north.
You have made it to STRATHFIELD STATION, Exits are to the east, west and north via an ELEVATOR.
Go east, get out of here.
You head east - someone has alerted the police to your presence on the platform. You have approximately 5 minutes to find a way out.
Alright, let's get out of here. Where are the exits now?
You see a ticket gate to the north and another to the south. Police forces are closing in through the south gates.
Exit through the north gates.
You don't have a ticket. You cannot pass!
FUCK!
Let's keep that kind of language on the streets where it belongs, please!
Can we get out of here?
You should try opening the bag now.
WHY THE FUCK IS THERE A HUMAN HEAD IN THE BAG?
Thank you for playing QUEST OF UTMOST IMPORTANCE. Your score has been reco-
YOU'RE JUST GOING TO LEAVE ME HERE TO DIE, WHAT ABOUT THE HEA-
Thank you for playing QUEST OF UTMOST IMPORTANCE. Your score has been recorded. You scored 1 out of a possible 100!
I knew I shouldn't have taken those pills.
You know exactly what you don't understand, understand?
I don't understand.
And that's why you have a court case for sexual harassment tomorrow morning. Also I assume murder is on the cards now. Thanks for playing!
Fuck.
A Quest of utmost importance.
You wake up in a drug fueled haze on the middle of the 5:07 train home from work. A small rotund lady looks at you as though you've been scooping out the eyes of several small childr-
Wait what is this? Where am I?
I'm sorry, I don't understand your syntax.
You wake up in a drug fueled haze on the middle of the 5:07 train home from work. A small rotund lady looks at you as though you've been scooping out the eyes of several small children, your bag is sitting next to you, taking up an entire seat. This is probably why.
The train is currently at Central Station. Exits are to the east and west, through to the next carriages and to the north, through the door. The north exit is closing.
I'm still not sure what the fuck is going on - how am I hearing you?
I'm sorry, I don't understand your syntax - please try prompting a different command. Examples include "Go DIRECTION", "Use OBJECT", or "Look at THING"
I knew I shouldn't have taken those pills my boss gave me.
I'm sorry, I don't understand your sy-
I get it! Shit!
I'm sorry, I don't understan-
GO NORTH!
The northern exit is now closed. The train has started moving.
Alright, Look at FAT HAG.
The rather rotund lady looks at you and seems shocked that you'd say such a thing! She carries a small floral-print umbrella and an equally garish handbag. Her makeup is but a mere shadow of itself, after spending the entire day wiping her face free of sweat. She takes a step back from you as if getting ready to attack.
The FAT HAG asks you to move your bag, to free a seat up for her.
I want to get out.
Exits are to the east and west.
Go east, I guess.
You get up and move towards the EASTERN CARRIAGE DO-
Pick up my bag.
You walk back to retrieve your bag, causing the FAT HAG to break out in a sweat. You have gained one point of aggression. You leave the train carriage through the EASTERN CARRIAGE DOOR.
You are now in the MIDDLE CARRIAGE. People are looking at you with disgusted looks on their faces. Exits are to the South, East and West.
Wait, why are people looking at me like that? Look at self.
You could cut a pretty attractive figure right now, but only with the large machete in your right hand. You are covered head to toe in an unknown variety of feces. It doesn't seem to be human.
What. The. Fuck?
I'm sorry, I don't understand your syntax.
Why am I covered in feces?
I'm sorry, that happened before my time.
WHO ARE YOU?
I am the narrator, I'm here to help you get further along in your own QUEST FOR GREATNESS.
It's not going so well right now.
I was promised a better candidate, but we can work through this.
Alright, do you have any sort of hints for me?
All I can suggest is that you check your bag!
Right! I don't remember taking a bag to work, whose is this?
Hello?
Sorry! I was sleeping!
I have no idea who that bag belongs to, but I think you should check it.
I'll do it later - can I still get off the train?
Exits are to the north, east and west.
Go north.
You have made it to STRATHFIELD STATION, Exits are to the east, west and north via an ELEVATOR.
Go east, get out of here.
You head east - someone has alerted the police to your presence on the platform. You have approximately 5 minutes to find a way out.
Alright, let's get out of here. Where are the exits now?
You see a ticket gate to the north and another to the south. Police forces are closing in through the south gates.
Exit through the north gates.
You don't have a ticket. You cannot pass!
FUCK!
Let's keep that kind of language on the streets where it belongs, please!
Can we get out of here?
You should try opening the bag now.
WHY THE FUCK IS THERE A HUMAN HEAD IN THE BAG?
Thank you for playing QUEST OF UTMOST IMPORTANCE. Your score has been reco-
YOU'RE JUST GOING TO LEAVE ME HERE TO DIE, WHAT ABOUT THE HEA-
Thank you for playing QUEST OF UTMOST IMPORTANCE. Your score has been recorded. You scored 1 out of a possible 100!
I knew I shouldn't have taken those pills.
You know exactly what you don't understand, understand?
I don't understand.
And that's why you have a court case for sexual harassment tomorrow morning. Also I assume murder is on the cards now. Thanks for playing!
Fuck.
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